Broken Hearts

At 7:30 am there was a painful breaking of hearts on Short Term Parking Level 2M at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas. Luke, Colleen, and my hearts were spilt asunder in the dimly lit parking garage. Nia was beautifully oblivious, sweetly singing the words "goodbye" to some inner tune she had playing in her head. She asked me: "you have drops in your eyes?"

By 12:00 I was eating lunch at a concourse Mexican restaurant in Phoenix, waiting for my delayed flight to start boarding. I was sitting with the Staff Sergeant who is deploying with me and another young female Airman (Airperson?) from Nellis who is deploying to Kandahar for 179 days. We had just ordered lunch and a few beers, speculating about how long our delay would be. The waitress came by smiling, and told us that our tab was being picked up by a table by the window. I looked over and saw an older man and woman wave at us. They were getting ready to leave, so I walked over to them to say "thank you". I shook their hands and expressed my appreciation. They said they had a son who was currently in the military and the gentleman said that he served 4 years during Vietnam. They asked where we were going and they wished us "Godspeed" before leaving. I was slightly embarassed, but it felt good.

Since I have worn a uniform I have always felt slightly uncomfortable when people thank me "for my service." I have felt uncomfortable because I feel like my "service" to our country is an obligation, and I also feel that it is no more deserving of thanks and praise than any of a number of other jobs. Somebody's gotta do this job, yes, but it's not like I'm a martyr. I am no infantryman either, that's for sure. Thank a teacher (they get shot at too) or a social worker, or someone who works some other unglamorous underpaid job serving others.

Nevertheless, today I was on the receiving end of many well wishes and kind gestures that ranged from simple words of comfort, offers for prayer, and people buying me tacos and beer. It made me shake off some of my typical cynicism about human nature, made me talk a little more(I typically avoid talking to strangers as if everyone were diseased), and made me smile a little more. But maybe I'm just more receptive with the raw emotional nerves of saying goodbye.

The departure makes me more open to accepting those words and actions from people who just want to express thanks, patriotism, caring, or maybe they have friends and family who have deployed. I'm not normally one to take comfort in the words of strangers, but today it felt okay. It seemed to add a little color to an emotionally bleak day.

I'm definitely going to pass those gestures on to someone down the road...