Bandwidth

The relative calm for us has continued since early October. In the last 39 days we have done three missions to outlying outposts and two trips to Bagram. We have two more missions scheduled in the latter half of November. Contact with the enemy seems to have quieted down but I'm not sure why.

I have an open invitation to attend daily battle update briefings—these are meetings that review current combat operations and current intel related to our immediate area and adjacent regions. When I first got here I consistently attended these meetings, partially to familiarize everyone with my face, but also because I wanted to know what was going on, as if knowing would make it easier for me to navigate the deployment. Since late September I have avoided them. Everyone now knows me and I no longer want to know what's going on.

By not knowing about every mortar or rocket that falls, and not knowing where every IED is found I am able to peacefully go about my daily business, plan my missions, see our patients and the keep the larger reality of the war at bay. I kind of see it as a way of freeing up bandwidth in my head. Without that daily download of ominous data I can concentrate on my job, and when it is time to relax or focus on myself it is much easier without visions of RPG-toting Taliban or IED-emplacing villagers.

This is a luxury, I know, because I don't need this daily feed of intel to do my job. I think I actually do my job better without it. Some people live immersed in this information and it must make it difficult to find any peace.