It's been strange coming back to the US after two months in Army-World followed by six months in Afghanistan. Endless days of anxiety, PT, preoccupation, and future-orientation were replaced with lightning fast days of happiness, listening to my kids, over-stimulation and a world that is much much faster.
My family met me at the gate, and when I think of how it felt to have my son and daughter jump into my arms, it still makes me want to cry. A month later, I continue to feel like everyone in my family is just happy to have me back on the continent.
The welcome back to my unit at Nellis AFB has been less than inspiring, which is an interesting and unexpected contrast. In December my NCO and I raised our eyebrows when we didn't receive any communication over Christmas and New Years from our unit, but we figured that we would get a good welcome home pot-luck, or at least an invite to go out for beers and dinner at a local restaurant.
What actually happened was nothing... I had a few days to in-process and then a week of R&R, and then it was back to business as usual. My commander expressed his appreciation by tasking me with his backlogged to-do list. There was a baby shower party for a pregnant officer and talk about a farewell party for our admin technician, but the four of us who had been absent for 8 months were just integrated back into the work flow, carry on.
The first week back at work I sat through our squadron commander's call, which is a 60 minute compilation of guest speakers (public service message greatest hits), awards, and the commander speaking directly to her troops. I guess I was feeling a bit raw and unappreciated, because I was pissed by having to sit through award ceremonies for people who shuffled paper at the hospital while I was deployed. The commander didn't even mention that dozens of people in her squadron had just returned from Afghanistan.
Mostly she just talked about keeping our paperwork straight, keeping sharp for an upcoming inspection, because if our duty sections do poorly it will reflect poorly...
But it's a new year. People don't get it. I get that. I would rather think that they don't get it versus thinking that they don't give a shit. Maybe I hold my military peers to a higher standard-- I expect them to get it, I expect them to empathize, to express understanding, buy me a beer, something? The USAF doesn't get it yet. People still feel that deployment consists of sitting on your hands at a quiet, secure, and well-apportioned airbase. What's the big deal. Shut up and get back to work.
I have found that my non-military friends, my family, my children-- they are the ones that get it, or at least they seem to be sensitive to the gravity.
4 comments:
I think this is just another example of bureaucracy at it's best. The upper levels of any organization have no idea(the Peter Principle in action) or conveniently forget(in fulfilling their needs) what others are required to do in meeting responsibilities. It's not their problem-unless their is some negative impact on them, a backlogged to-do list or a form with a blank. The air force sounds like a state department of education.
I'm glad your home! I'm sorry you had to spend six months away from Colleen and the kids. However, your blog has generated a great deal of insight and thought about people, other cultures and how we interact with them, and the military and war. As in all that you do, it's well done.
Thank you for sharing your experiences through your blog. There are so many of us that have been following your stories and that really appreciate your service. Hopefully this war will be over soon.
I stumbled here on a googling dead end. Glad I did. I am impressed with what I have read here. Both form and content. As a pacifist and a fellow Leftist, I found your sharing of personal experience of war and the military very educational and heartening. A military with men like yourself in it ensures the preservation of democracy. Please keep writing.
thanks-- I need to get back on this project-- a book is in the works
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